


Salmon Vs. L-Corp

by camping_trash_44



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, I cant be tamed, POV cat, Salmon the Cat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camping_trash_44/pseuds/camping_trash_44
Summary: L-Corp was simply taking up too much of Lena's time, even worse, making her stressed beyond belief. Salmon simply could not stand for this, she knew what she had to do.Salmon had to bring down L-Corp so she could spend her days relaxing with Lena.





	Salmon Vs. L-Corp

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself from writing this, everyone seemed to like the idea of Salmon so I caved. This is prompted from watching my own and babies (a cat and a dog) begging me to stay home. 
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys! 
> 
> (ps. lololol the story about the cat is my longest single work...why am I like this?)

She led a simple life, obviously. After all, Salmon Luthor was a modest cat with a modest life. She knew as such at least. Besides, what kind of cat could live without posh beds, days at the kitty spa getting her nails trimmed and her fur fluffed, never mind the audacity at the prospect that cats don’t get the same food flown in straight from Paris that she did. Lena, her amazing owner and dare Salmon admit her loving mother, was simply the best person Salmon could have ever asked for. The blonde hair woman that her owner seemed to love, Kara, Salmon thought, would be a close second. Salmon had grown accustomed the woman’s frequent appearance, how could she not notice Lena’s immediate change in demeanor, the way her smile appeared or that she freely laughed. 

For this change in her owner, Salmon would happily reward the blonde woman, the ‘reporter’ she thought Lena had called her before, although Salmon was not too sure what that word meant. She’s a cat, give her a break. So when Kara would come into the office bearing large bags of food or various human treats, Salmon would lazily jump down from her perch and stretch before sauntering over the blonde, promptly settling in on her lap for another long afternoon nap. This Kara had very soft hands so it really was for Salmon’s benefit to be petted by her. 

While Salmon liked Kara very much, she was not her Lena. Only Lena could reach that specific spot right below her ear, only Lena knew how she liked her fresh tuna properly chunked, Lena was the only person for Salmon. This is was an undeniable fact. 

This is why Salmon had begun to plot the ultimate downfall of L-Corp. The company had stolen one too many nights of snuggling from Salmon and stressed her person’s nerves to the point that she poured an overly large glass of red liquid much too frequently for Salmon to let this go on much longer. Now, Salmon knew that she was but a cat, apposable thumbs would be something incredibly helpful in her ultimate plan. So Salmon worked with what the assets she had.

Her plan set into motion on the perfect day, like the kitten gods had smiled down on Salmon that day. Lena was entertaining a particularly grumpy and gross old man who seemed to have a habit of raising his voice, something Salmon was NOT a fan of while she was trying to nap…much less a fan of the look of pure irritation crossing her Lena’s face. Opening one piercing eye, Salmon glared at the man. Then she saw the perfect opportunity to strike. If she hissed at this man, a very uncharacteristic action from Salmon, then Lena would clearly see that the man and this company were not good, forcing Lena to quit. 

It was a clearly full proof plan. 

So as the man started to wave his hands and raise his voice at Lena, Salmon stalked from her perfectly sunny lounging spot by the balcony windows towards him. Both humans were completely unaware of her presence as she made her way around the desk. Then, right when the man’s face became a brilliant shade of red, Salmon pounced. For being a strictly indoor cat, Salmon had to congratulate herself on the puma like pounce. She hissed and spit while swiping her perfectly clipped nails in the air. The loud man was clearly stunned as he stumbled back, eye’s wide with fear of Salmon Luthor. Lena had taught her well. The man scurried off and sputtered insults at Salmon and ultimately Lena as Jess, (Salmon was also a fan of Jess now) ran into the office, a large red tank in hand ready for a fight it seemed. 

Salmon thought to herself as she sauntered away from the scene to hop gracefully atop Lena’s desk, ‘Don’t worry helping human, I’ve taken care of everything.’ 

Much to her delight, Lena started laughing hysterically. Salmon had achieved her goal of convincing her owner to leave once and for all so they could spend all their time cuddling and traveling to all those places they talked about. Salmon sat expectantly atop the large desk, Lena would come to scratch her head and scoop her up with praise and love. Yet that didn’t happen though. 

Lena approached the desk with a stern look on her face. A face Salmon had only gotten when she accidentally shredded the curtains in the apartment…there was a bird that just HAD to be caught. So seeing this face now from her human was slightly concerning. What had Salmon done wrong?

“Now sweetheart, you cannot attack board members just because they raise their voice. Thank you for the show Salmon, but I can handle those old men.” With that, Lena shook one pointed finger at her, Salmon was highly offended at the action, then proceeded to scoop her up and sprinkle kisses to her head. 

“Jess, please send a formal apology to Mr. Rothenberg about this. Oh, and Jess? Please see if there such a thing as kitty training classes. I’ll be taking lunch with Kara soon, be sure to take your lunch as well.”

Salmon’s plan had….failed. 

The plan, the execution, the everything was perfect. How did Salmon fail? 

As Lena strolled round the room with Salmon in her arms, cell phone pressed against the human’s ear, Salmon knew she would have to work harder, be smarter…Salmon would succeed. 

\---

The next phase in Salmon’s plan happened only a few days after the first failed trial. Being the cat of Lena Luthor had taught Salmon that trial and error were all parts of a successful experiment, so try again she would. Salmon had woken well before the sun for her daily 4am run through the spacious apartment. It was part of her routine after all. Right as Salmon clawed her way up and across the lavish couch with intent to launch herself to the coffee table, she heard the unmistakable signs of her person stirring awake. The ruffling sheets and soft sigh that accompanied the sounds of some machine spitting out a brow liquid Lena drank every morning filled the room, causing Salmon to freeze from her place on the couch.

Now was the time to act. Sprinting into the bedroom Salmon jumped on the bed and immediately began rubbing her face against Lena’s, adding in a loud purr for extra cuteness factor. Lena surely could not resist Salmon, causing her to be late for work which would ultimately result in Lena never going into work again. A successful plan for sure this time, Salmon knew this time her plan would work. 

Lena smiled widely, something only Salmon saw she was sure of it, as she scratched up and down the cat’s back. Salmon rolled around and kneaded into the blankets spurring the luxury to continue. The plan was going off without a hitch, Lena was undoubtedly going to be late due to kitty cuddles. Eventually, Lena and Salmon both drifted off to sleep again, curled around each other in the exceptionally soft sheets. Finally her plan had succeeded.   
Sometime later Salmon woke to the loud call of another human, their voice broke the silence and safety that found Lena and Salmon as they slept. Her human started to stir as the voice grew in worry, Salmon could play dirty though too, she started to purr more loudly than she thought her body capable so as to incapacitate Lena from leaving the bed. Then a woman walked into the bedroom, Salmon noticed it was Kara in her ridiculous blue and red outfit, (though Salmon had to admit she did enjoy chasing the cape that attached to it), coming to steal Lena away. Glaring her best Luthor glare, Salmon willed Kara away. The blonde, as always Salmon sighed, seemed completely unaffected by her death daggers, choosing the walk softly over to the bed. If Salmon did not know better, the blonde’s feet did not make a sound at all as if she was floating and not walking. 

Despite herself, Salmon leaned into the soft hand of Kara…curse that woman for being the second best petter in the world behind Lena. Kara spoke soft words to her human who slowly blinked her eyes into consciousness. Salmon actively chose to ignore their low whispers to each other, even she knew when a private moment was occurring and Salmon was anything if not respectful. Salmon watched in horror as her human started to sit up and exit the bed, following the blonde into the other room. Curse the blonde she was foiling all her plans. 

Skidding into the room where both humans were currently, Salmon stopped in her tracks upon seeing her human dressed in a fluffy robe, (the exact one Salmon was SURE she shredded for being as soft as her own pristine fur), drinking the brown liquid without a care in the world as she laughed at something Kara said. Maybe her plan had actually worked after all and Kara coming was just a weird coincidence. Yes of course, Salmon’s plan had indeed worked after all. Why else would her human be this relaxed instead of rushing them both off to that tall building. 

As a treat to herself Salmon hoped onto the counter and rubbed herself gracefully along Lena’s skin before she started to eat her perfectly French food. 

Kara spoke as she started to stroke her hand down Salmon’s back, “So, after I finish up with Supergirl business, would you like to get dinner tonight? Maybe go to the alien bar for pool with Alex…she’s still having a hard time after Maggie.”

Lena’s voice answered, “Of course darling, that sounds perfect. Goodness knows that after the week I’ve had a relaxing Saturday night at the bar is necessary.” 

Delving into her food, Salmon let the victory of today wash over her happily. 

\---  
Once again, Salmon’s ultimate scheme seemed to have failed due to some unforeseen forces at play. The cat had happily curled up on her favorite spot by the windows, letting the sunshine wash over her, the success of her plan spurring a happiness in her. She preened and ran and played with the annoying tinkle bell that her human had gotten her, the one she only plays with when Lena is not home, in the wake of her victory. Her human had come home much later that day, laughing more loudly than she thought possible while hanging around the blonde woman’s neck. Kara herself seemed out of character, usually nervous and admittedly adorable, but that night she had been relaxed and giggly. Salmon even was kicked out of the bedroom that night for some reason. 

That revenge was soon to be planned for another day, she was much too happy with herself for the success she had. Maybe one day herself and Lena could take over the world. Those were happy thoughts for her night alone on the couch. 

Salmon was not aware that her planned had failed though until much later, Monday morning to be exact, days of the week get confusing to a cat you see. The fluffy cat slunk happily into the bedroom expecting a full day of relaxation and pampering only be met with a fully dressed human…in work clothes. Confusion washed over the small cat, why was Lena getting dressed? She had successfully stopped her from going to work forever. No, this was simply a mistake. 

As she jumped on the bed for her morning pets, Salmon was stunned to see the ‘box of minor inconvenience’, she had heard Lena and Kara calling it a ‘cat carrier’ whatever that meant. But to Salmon that meant she had to be stuffed into the mesh box and be transported to some unknown place…usually to her human’s office. The fact that the ‘box of minor inconvenience’ was on the bed was truly concerning. Then before she could protest or know what was happening, Lena scooped her up and deftly deposited Salmon into the contraption. 

Oh no. No this simply would not do. Immediately, Salmon let loose loud meows and sounds of immense displeasure at her new situation. Her protests were ignored though, Lena only shushing her every so often during the car ride. Salmon knew finally her plan had failed when they walked into the building of her demise, her owner’s loud clicks of those tall shoes she wears against the hard floor. 

Salmon spent the rest of the day on Lena’s desk simply staring at her so she would know her utmost displeasure. The cat had even considered knocking over the fresh coffee that the human named Jess had brought in, but even in her most upset state Salmon knew that she could not betray her human that much. No, that would be un-Luthor like; Lena had taught her that Luthors always carry themselves with sense and respect without causing harm to anyone. 

So again, Salmon plotted. Her owner was much more invested in this thing called ‘work’ than she originally thought. Then, spotting Kara fly by the large windows in her signature blur of blue and red, Salmon realized that she might have to call in reinforcements for this mission. 

\---

To be honest with herself, Salmon was not exactly sure how she was going to communicate with Kara, let alone effectively enough to convince the woman to help her with the important scheme in place. Her first course of action was to get Kara to trust her, love her even. Swallowing her pride and starting the long con, Salmon spent day after day warming up to Kara (Salmon would never admit that it was not the difficult part of the plan, she had always had a soft spot for the woman who rescued her). Mornings the two woman spent together were prime opportunity, Salmon would curl up in between the two women and purr loudly as they pet her. Lena simply gushed with emotion when Salmon paid extra attention to Kara. Eventually Salmon stepped her game up and made sure she only ate a full meal when the blonde was present and petting her. 

After months of hard work and espionage, Salmon was ready to implement her final phase of garnering Kara to her plan. It was night time when the perfect opportunity showed itself to Salmon, her human and the blonde one were spending the evening together. The two were headed to the door after several good scratchies and an extra helping of Salmon’s favorite treats, of course she was no fool, she only got this attention when she was about to be left alone. Seeing her time to strike, Salmon flew off the counter right as they reached the door and began to meow loudly and twine herself through both women’s legs. Her plan was working perfectly when Lena picked her up to nuzzle into the soft fur behind her ears…Salmon did not preemptively celebrate though, her plans had been dashed before. Salmon could make out her person’s voice mixed with Kara’s as they fawned over her, then just as she planned Lena began to walk back into the apartment and Kara followed. 

YES! Yes this was it, Salmon’s plan was finally working. Kara must have finally understood the plan she had concocted, ready to help in any way possible. Why else would Lena stay home after talking to Kara?   
Then, in a flash and loud whirl of wind, Kara disappeared in that weird outfit again and Lena began to stroke Salmon harshly, a little too hard if she was asked. Thinking nothing of her owner’s too hard pets or several glasses of strong smelling liquid, Salmon contentedly spent her night reveling in the victory of gaining the blonde woman in her plan to keep Lena from work. Many hours later into her nap, Salmon woke to the harsh smell of smoke as Kara picked her up to bury her face, if Salmon did not know better she could hear the soft signs of crying from the blonde. Regardless of the smell and weird behavior, she nuzzled into her new partner’s neck to congratulate her on finally figuring it all out. 

Now their plan could finally have a hope of working…Salmon has always heard Lena say that ‘A Luthor and a Super make a good team’. 

\---  
The new partnership between Salmon and Kara proved incredibly fruitful, Lena had begun to spend more and more nights home with them both. Salmon even was not bothered that Kara had seemed to take up more residence lately at their home, the blonde made her human happy so she could stay. Plus, she had been integral in Salmon’s plan coming to light. 

Her only complaint though, was that it seemed even the dynamic team of a Luthor and a Super could not pry Lena away from that dastardly place she called ‘work’. More nights were spent inside their home, watching movies or playing weird board games…Salmon admitted that it was thrilling to chase all the little pieces across the boards. Yet, despite their hard work, Salmon and Lena still found themselves carted off to the building she had learned to so detest. There was clearly something that both Salmon and Kara were missing that their plan had failed still so far, there had to be something to be done. 

So Salmon thought…and thought …and thought. She would bide her time, careful not to displace any of the progress she had made so far. No, some experiments simply needed more time to develop versus forcing progress to happen. 

Salmon knew from her godly cat ancestors that Egypt wasn’t built in a day. 

The next day started like any other, Salmon woke from her spot between the two women nestled safely by their stomachs. She stretched and kneaded into Kara’s skin, she chose Kara because the woman seemed unaffected by her claws while Lena always made small noises of pain, trying to wake up the pair. Salmon was very hungry and lacked the necessary thumbs to get her own food. 

Once Kara and Lena woke though, Salmon could tell something was slightly different about this morning. While the two were normally lovey and shared weird human kisses, this morning the two were seemingly unable to separate. Disgusted by this, Salmon stalked off into the other room choosing to wait impatiently on the counter for her food. Eventually Kara emerged from the bedroom and fed Salmon, faintly Salmon could hear the beginnings of the shower, yes Salmon knew that sound all too well. Everyone learned an important lesson from the time that her human had tried to bath her. Never again. 

Kara’s voice interrupted Salmon’s inner monologue during her breakfast, “Today is a special day kitty. Do you know why?”

Instead of an answer Salmon concentrated on her breakfast as the blonde carried on with her one sided conversation, “Today is special Salmon, because it is your mom and I’s one year anniversary. I’ve been blessed by Rao once again in the form of Lena.” 

Hearing the emotional tone in her voice Salmon started to actually pay attention to Kara, maybe she was discussing their joint plan. “We’re pretty lucky to have your mom in our lives aren’t we, Salmon?” 

With that Kara plopped a loud kiss atop Salmon’s head and walked away with a goofy human smile on her face. Eventually Salmon noticed her owner bringing various bags into the main room, stacking them neatly by the door. This was highly unusual. Then she saw it, the ‘box of minor inconvenience’. Today was the day, Salmon was finally putting her paw down and refusing to accompany Lena at that awful building. 

In her final act of defiance, Salmon found the single best hiding place in her home. She wiggled herself between the cupboard and the fridge finally reaching her destination behind the fridge. They would never find her there. Lena would finally realize Salmon’s distaste with her ‘work’. 

The plan would work with Salmon’s last resort plan: protest. 

Time crawled by, Salmon was sure of that. Just as she was beginning to wonder how long she would be forced to protest, she heard her person start to call her name. She wouldn’t be broken that easily. The treats came shortly after that…her cat like iron resolve was tested. Still she did not break. 

“Lena we’re going to be late for our flight, where could she possibly be?!” Salmon could hear Kara’s voice from her spot.

“Kara, darling, I own the plane we literally cannot be late. I’m trying to find her but she seems to have disappeared.” Lena’s voice was laced with displeasure, yes her plan was working. 

“Where does she usually hide?”

“I’ve already checked all her spots, no sign. Oh for fucks sake Kara you have X-Ray vision, use it.” 

A small span of silence filled the room.

“Darn, I can’t find her either.”

Lena’s voice reached dangerously low as she spoke, Salmon only heard this voice with the old gross men, “Kara Zor-El if you can’t find her, where the hell is my cat?”

Salmon was not too sure what happened next, as she was behind the fridge and could not see, but she definitely heard commotion, as if all the furniture in the apartment was being picked up and put down in frustration. If Salmon had known her person would stay home from work to find her she would have simply hidden every morning, she finally found the secret for her ultimate plan to work. Content with herself and to wait for Lena to find her, Salmon curled up and began to purr happily. 

The universe seemingly had other plans though as she was finally discovered by the blonde woman, her safe spot behind the fridge had been discovered once Kara gingerly pulled out the appliance and held it aloft with one hand. Lena and Kara shared a look as Salmon sat up and yawned, ‘about time’ she thought. 

Her person rushed forward and scooped her into her arms as Kara placed the fridge back to its original place. 

“Salmon what on Earth were you thinking?!” Lena did not sound happy. 

“Lena, why is your fridge lined with lead?” 

“So you would not keep staring at it during game nights to find food that does not suddenly materialize into existence just because you have not looked for five minutes.”

With that, Salmon was once again deposited into the ‘box of minor inconvenience’ and she was whisked away to wherever Lena wanted. Accepting her defeat and ready to scrap all future plans of keeping Lena home from work, Salmon decided to sleep her troubles away. 

Imagine her complete surprise to have woken up not in Lena’s office, but seated in a perfectly comfortable seat next to Kara and Lena. It was finally happening, they were not going to work.   
Salmon had actually succeeded in her plan!

Ignoring her humans, she had to admit that Kara had become her human in a sense too, Salmon stretched and explored her new surroundings. 

Looking back Salmon saw her two humans clinking their glasses together. 

“Happy one year, my love.” Lena’s voice carried. 

Kara responded with,“Happy one week of vacation in Bora Bora to us.”

Salmon sure could get used to this life of luxury without work.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think?


End file.
